Monday Madness: Living the Gospel

This past week has been great. A few stories to share and a bit about structure

Story 1
My first story goes along the lines of compassion. I was at a busy retail area for my city. A place where tourists may come oft. My actions that night were limited to fallen plans and a wish to go home. On the way i ran into a woman who was clearly in distress.

She didn’t need help really. She just needed to be calmed down. I learned so much about her. About her kids and things of herself. She just got a job and moved in to town just 9 days in. She moved into a good part of town. It’s an exciting time in her life. Her car broke down and she had to turn to the local police to help her.

Anyway the visit was well we exchanged contact info and she made me promise not to leave her, to keep contact with her.

Huh.

Story 2
The next story occurs a weekend before. A depressing weekend at Walmart. For me and the general population. It was busy and the cashier lines were long. I had to sit on a bench to wait for my family to check out. There I sat next to a girl, probably a local college student who just looked so so depressed.

I wanted to help her but couldn’t overcome my small fears and walls. I had plenty opportunity too. But in the end I was more focused on her and my depressive funk was lifted.

Cool.

Story 3
My last story has to do with me and me only. It happened today. I went to do some home teaching for my church. Home teaching is a network that my church practices where every family is assigned two priesthood individuals who come visit to keep a close eye of love for the families.

And so I went a little on the outskirts of town. I don’t carry a phone and I didn’t know the area. I got lost. A small one lane gravel road. Poorly shoveled.

I got stuck. And I tried to back out. I ended up in the grass.  I was way stuck. No people for half a mile or so. No money. No phone. I was running late for my teaching.

Yet I was not afraid , I was determined I could get out alone, that everything would work out.

The common trick for my problem was to use rocks to get traction under my wheels. I thought maybe if I pushed my car from its spot it might be enough to drive again.

That proved to not work.

I thought and I thought.

There was plenty of tall dried dead grass around me. I started picking them and thought maybe I could get the traction I needed. And so I gathered some long grass, stuffed it under the wheel, and nudged the car a little, to get it into position.

And i t worked. I got back onto the gravel and safely got to my destination with help of some locals.

Structure
I have found that I am the kind of guy who reads ten books at once. I just can’t stay and finish any book.

My problem I identified is that I don’t read my scriptures as often as encouraged and I have zero structure  in my life right now.

So in the past I read, well tried to read, a chapter from the scriptures a night.

Never worked.

Well I noticed that the scriptures are actually a ton of books!!! Haha! And so I started to read it consistently, although not the same book everyday.

It’s working. And per my entry the blessings can be seen.

I’m out!

Squintyclops at Large

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OH NOSE! I’ve been pretty negative. I must be humble.

I’ve learned some good things.  Happiness begets happiness and depression begets depression.  It’s time I apply this to my life.

It was just last night that I realized that I am passionately negative.  It’s all I think about.  That’s awful.  What I need to be doing is being hopeful, optimistic and the like.

I have been having really selfish thoughts:

i feel like i am suppose to be selfish. to come to church for me, not others

i feel like i am suppose to put myself before others

i feel like i deserve more than i am

Where do these thoughts come from? How do i rid of them They don’t make me feel happy.

“sing, read scriptures, pray” says a friend of mine.  Good suggestions.  I haven’t been praying much lately.

The pray count has been dwindling.  My relationship with Him isn’t as strong.

But it’s time to change.

Here’s what I sent to my professor about the absence of progress in school.

Squintyclops February 17 at 10:45am

“Honestly, I have nothing to show for this last month. I have been dealing with life, not that my life is bad right now. It’s just that I am not dealing with my life or my problems. I didn’t really understand the situation I was in until just this week.

Part of it is that I don’t have any concrete life goals for the near future. I don’t have plans. I am not working towards anything. Part of it is that I don’t see the value of a diploma. But I know getting one is good. And you can probably figure out what I haven’t been doing based on these thoughts.

It’s good to see and realize that I have a problem. My actions aren’t leading anywhere.

It’s time to own this. I haven’t been doing homework and that will lead to no diploma. I will say that I will put great effort in getting back on track. This is where I am and where I need to be is turning pages in each week and have at least a book’s worth complete. Yet I do not.

It’s time to solve this problem and I humbly say that I need your help. I am not an independent worker. I need someone breathing down my back at all times. I need a sense of urgency. I propose we see each other twice a week, and have emails in between. Also I need to adjust my schedule so that I can catch up at a reasonable pace.

And so I am making the first steps in solving this problem by contacting you.

I am in this.”

So that should help.  As for spirituality.  I don’t know how I can be much better.  I’ve been better than I have been for sure.  Less the praying part.  Yet I feel down.- Forget that!

So the problem is I am spiritually down.  I don’t pray and I don’t read scriptures.  Therefore I lose perspective in life.  Hence I need to pray and read scriptures.

I will pray in the morning, and before bed. I will change my phone background to ‘Pray’ and every time I see it I will find time to pray.  As for scriptures.- oh that’s a beast! any suggestions?

This will be my first steps to changing for the better.  And I will be humble.  Can you help?