God exists. He answers prayers. I have been praying about whether people cared about me or not. And just yesterday, friends have called out of the blue. I was invited to events. Even today I received a letter from a good friend remembering me. So that’s good. Something else I’ve been praying about is girls. And today I was leaving a social event and 5 girls caught me before I left. It felt like they were lining up. So that’s good.
What’s terrible is that I can’t figure out why I sulk and carry poor posture. I still carry something. Last night I discovered I hide my feelings from my family. I feel responsible for causing a lot of stress in their lives, but I shouldn’t. It really isn’t my fault. I need to let that go. I need to be more open. It’s just that I feel that no one needs to hear my woes. That sharing depression is like being a downer. And I don’t want to be a downer. Help me justify venting. Help me justify sharing my pains. I need to know.
Today I got to work. It distracted me from the world. I was focused on helping others. And I did well there. I can still function well, despite my thoughts. So that’s good. It’s just that no one can tell that I have problems and therefore cannot help. You can’t solve a problem when you don’t know there is a problem.
So thanks for listening and for all my friends thank you. I love having friends. I love it.