So I graduated Saturday. An amazing day. The siblings all came back. Stayed up ’til four in the morn’ chattin away in the yard to a fire pit. So many friends congratulated me. I feel proud.
Too bad I still have yet to do my senior project.
But I’m gonna look at it this way. It’s my profession for the summer. This is the kind of stuff I ‘ll be doing should I follow this industry anyway. My first order of business is to figure out what I’ll be writing exactly. I’ve been putting it off for quite some time. And I’ll progress from there.
Anyways I was making the week’s schedule. Looks like every hour counts. I’m surprisingly busy. There’s church activities. Work at the Lenscrafters. There’s Doctor’s appointments. Scripture Study hours and of course tons of hours for my new profession, Writing.
There’s a reason for it of course. I’ve got a deadline. I plan a page an hour and I’m giving myself 2 months to finish scripts to 4 books.
So that’s gonna be fun.
Scripture study too is gonna be a new activity for me. I plan on reading the BofM cover to cover. We’ll see how that goes. All of it is of course prep for missionary work come fall.
OH! Something thing fun. I’ll be going to Vietnam in the fall w/ Dad and possibly my aunt and cuz. Cool no?
Well that’s what’s going on in the next chapter of life. Rock on.
OH and to end with some gratitude. I’m grateful for MOM and my abilities to get me this far. Thanks.
I’ve learned some good things. Happiness begets happiness and depression begets depression. It’s time I apply this to my life.
It was just last night that I realized that I am passionately negative. It’s all I think about. That’s awful. What I need to be doing is being hopeful, optimistic and the like.
I have been having really selfish thoughts:
i feel like i am suppose to be selfish. to come to church for me, not others
i feel like i am suppose to put myself before others
i feel like i deserve more than i am
Where do these thoughts come from? How do i rid of them They don’t make me feel happy.
“sing, read scriptures, pray” says a friend of mine. Good suggestions. I haven’t been praying much lately.
The pray count has been dwindling. My relationship with Him isn’t as strong.
But it’s time to change.
Here’s what I sent to my professor about the absence of progress in school.
Squintyclops February 17 at 10:45am
“Honestly, I have nothing to show for this last month. I have been dealing with life, not that my life is bad right now. It’s just that I am not dealing with my life or my problems. I didn’t really understand the situation I was in until just this week.
Part of it is that I don’t have any concrete life goals for the near future. I don’t have plans. I am not working towards anything. Part of it is that I don’t see the value of a diploma. But I know getting one is good. And you can probably figure out what I haven’t been doing based on these thoughts.
It’s good to see and realize that I have a problem. My actions aren’t leading anywhere.
It’s time to own this. I haven’t been doing homework and that will lead to no diploma. I will say that I will put great effort in getting back on track. This is where I am and where I need to be is turning pages in each week and have at least a book’s worth complete. Yet I do not.
It’s time to solve this problem and I humbly say that I need your help. I am not an independent worker. I need someone breathing down my back at all times. I need a sense of urgency. I propose we see each other twice a week, and have emails in between. Also I need to adjust my schedule so that I can catch up at a reasonable pace.
And so I am making the first steps in solving this problem by contacting you.
I am in this.”
So that should help. As for spirituality. I don’t know how I can be much better. I’ve been better than I have been for sure. Less the praying part. Yet I feel down.- Forget that!
So the problem is I am spiritually down. I don’t pray and I don’t read scriptures. Therefore I lose perspective in life. Hence I need to pray and read scriptures.
I will pray in the morning, and before bed. I will change my phone background to ‘Pray’ and every time I see it I will find time to pray. As for scriptures.- oh that’s a beast! any suggestions?
This will be my first steps to changing for the better. And I will be humble. Can you help?