Just a Spiritual Thought: Highschool Pride

It’s true for a blog I’ve been following and true for me. We ride our pride from HS into college and burnout post graduate.

Where did all of my gusto go? Where did the fighting spirit go?

I love visiting with return missionaries. Especially if we are playing sports. One I play regularly is volleyball. Every RM or even soon to be missionary I’ve met is super competitive. And I luv it.

I miss the days when I was young. The thing is that I never was really competitive in sports. Or in general. I was the guy who never kept score. Well. About the only thing I was competitive at was academics. I am still super proud of my rank and am tempted to boast it here. But that’s not my point. That is the HS pride I was talking about.

HS pride. The feeling that you can take on the world. The feeling of being unstoppable. That you are worth beyond measure.

Are you?

I argue we are and we are not. How so? In the eyes of the Lord we are of great worth, yet we are no more that the that of the dust.

I wonder if I can have that HS pride in the Lord’s eyes. Maybe I already do. It’s not a competition.

I had to pause. It’s not a competition. We are all on our own missions to return to Heavenly Father. We can help one another. There’s no need to judge or be hostile. With the right time and right place the rightt things can be done.

I used to be so angry for not being someone big. In the world.

My illness has got the best of me. But I fail to recognize the finer things in life. I still crave the life of a successful man. Whatever that is.

This dream no longer gives me hope. I feel incapable. It’s a dream not worth seeking. No more of that huh?

So much more to say! But that’s enough for this thought.

We are worth so much. We have to realize this. Let the lord lift us up! Our pride can only get us so far!!

Squintyclops at Large

Monday Madness: A Day with Pops

Were all my Mondays as tiring as this?

I am so tired, having run around all day with dad. Our main objective was to finish wedding invites. Which didn’t happen. But we ran into family and an old friend on the way.

In the end… I really want to see my family on the other side.

Wow. Totally different topic. Idk. Lemme tell u. My dad and his generation are at retirement age. They’ve seen so much. They’ve done so much.

I’ve seen various acts they’ve done for one another and for me. It’s a beautiful thing!

I just know we’ll be all together after all of this. Like neighbors. Bickering as always!

That’s what I believe. God will put us all where we can be together in the end, no matter who you are or what you’ve done. That’s my testimony to you.

Nite folks!

Squintyclops at Large

Monday Madness: Breaking Outside of my Social Bubble

So after much self reflection I feel it that I have no friends outside church… I do have one. A good one at that. But none other. And so last week I embarked to work on that.

I’ve been making strides at this. It’s just been a week and I’ve made a few friends whom I see a future in and a new side of my personality that is worth recognizing.

As a LDS member I am super sober, no drinking or anything. Yet as I go out into the world I am finding myself to be the ‘coolest sober’ people have seen.

As I look back I’ve noticed that I make a very good impression on others. Enough to have others go out of their way to hear my story and share theirs, or pour out their souls to me.

I wanna close early for it’s late. But it’s nice to know that I can be a big deal…. Or something.

Squintyclops at Large

This week? mumble mumble mumble

Miley Cyrus “Adore You”

I’ve been put into a rage this afternoon. Losing game after game doesn’t really help. And playing low level players, losing, didn’t help.  I will blame it on my confidence. I was trying out my fightstick for the first time online in years. It was dusty. I think I lost every game today.  I tend to do that a lot- get my butt kicked online after a pretty miserable day which only calls for an even more miserable day.

Today was a little different, I asked my family to leave me alone. I was in my room for not 5 mins and I came out and put on Miley Cyrus’s Adore you on my surround sound system- it’s beautiful. “I adore you.” The lyrics are so beautiful. I’m a lover, a romantic. Somewhere out there I know my lady is waiting to tell me this, someday. Whether be it far into the future i dont know.

I really don’t know why I’ve been miserable. People at work i kno have been noticing. I’m new so they don’t say much. Things just feel off. I don’t feel confident. I feel so confused. Things don’t make sense. A lot of it comes from church. Things don’t add up. Yet whenever I hear someone tell me very spiritual i kno it’s true. Something inside me tells me to hang in there longer. Something tells me not to quit.

Today i really didn’t want to go in to church. But I had a duty to get the programs printed so i went. I also wanted to bug out early, but i had a duty to personally teach someone afterwards. and so that all happened.  It was great that i stayed tho. I was able to hear some very inspiring words. some words i needed to hear. I kno i was suppose to be at church today, i was able to take things i learned in sunday school to the lesson after church. during sacrament, i really wanted to just sit in the foyer, but i fought it and stayed. i heard a very touching musical number by a very tender soul. and I heard wise words from church authority. I kno that the church is true. I kno i am in the right place and am doing the right thing.

general conference is coming up in a month and i want to prepare for it. i want to fast next sunday. i need to get level headed. i want close friends. it’s funny to say, but i really don’t have a ‘go to’ to spill all this to. I can save that thought for another post.

My parents are too for another day.

I just want to feel better. I started playing my love music playlist in which i progressively add to. and miley kicked it off. i am feeling better already.

Who do I want to Be?

“Superman. Uhm Blue, Brown, Red. Uhm Just graduated College with a scriptwriting degree. Has an active imagination.”

This is my writer description for the blog set 4 years ago in 2010, possibly even earlier. I’ll have to come up with an update to that and so lemme write as I think of one. Right now I am calming down from a stressful week. Hopefully that doesn’t bleed into my final product today.

Who am I?

Who do I want to be?

I want to continue helping others.

I want to be in a position where I can lift others always.

I want to be an example for others such that people will want to listen and will willingly respect me.

I want to be humble that I can learn at all times.

I want to be meek that I can accept help from anyone at anytime.

I want to remain obedient, consistently.

I want to be a strong person.

I want to be a leader.

I want to befriend others out of love.

I want to start sharing my knowledge.

I want to share my love.

I want to share my talents.

I want to share my wealth.

I want to share my possessions.

What else do I want to be? Let’s look professionally.

I want to be involved in optics more so than ever before. I will attend the Vision Expos and learn of the many things there to expand my workplace into better ways of trade. I want to be knowledgeable in this field, especially when it comes to optical and management and growth.  How can I be this person?

When it comes to love, who do I want to be?

I want to be a gentleman.

I want to be someone who listens

I want to be a friend. I want to be close. I want to know what ails and what pains and what’s at pain.

I want to nourish and champion the best in my companion.

I want to be strong. I want to be a man.

I want to remain a great son. I want to be better than who I am already. I want to continue to be perfected. How can I do this?

I’ll have to visit this topic oft. I’ll have to think about this oft. A prayer.

Heavenly Father,
Love me, Love me dearly. Might I love Thee as Thou hast. Might Thy hands reach and touch mine that I might shake and move others with me. Might I learn by Thy Eternal perspective to grow and perfect in myself. Might I be there and be more than just there but be able to keep my baptismal covenants at all times for those around me. Dear Father, might Thee hear my prayer this night, In Thy son’s name, Jesus Christ, Amen

I’ll go ahead and close with my testimony and whip up an update. My testimony is that we were chosen to champion this time. We are to live and be heirs of the Kingdom. Our God in Heaven loves us dearly. He knows us all personally. And this I say in Jesus’ name, amen.

Testimony of Angels vs. Devils 10/14

Devils are real. They lurk in our lives constantly. “Error” is a form of demonic doing, according to our Bible dictionary.  But trials are real too.  Those are set up by God.  God knows all of our weaknesses.  He’s trying to carve us like michaelanglo  if you will.  Each chunk is another weakness of the sculpture.  Each trail pinpoints a weakness in YOU. it’s not the devil he only helps/ makes it harder.  But overall God is HELPING us for our “Greater work.”  I bear testimony that each of us has a place in the eternal kingdom.  A special place for our unique talents.  I bear witness that devils are real.  I bear witness that faith and the commandments are our armor when push comes to shove.  Of these things i say in the name of Jesus christ my shepard and protector, my buddy of paradise, amen.

Testimony of Christ

Jesus Christ is our Lord and savior!He suffered on the cross for everyone’s sins. For all.
It’s an Infinite Atonement. Think this the Atonement covers that dear moment that turned your life upside down and it covers that time you thought that cute girl over there was hot.
Know pay attention. It covers those of your neighbors, those of your friends, family, the entire world, other times, of this world, other dimensions of this world, all sins of all the worlds of those dimensions, and then what? I don’t really know it’s infinite right?
Well Jesus Christ did that and he watches us as we do our great works, he knows our pain, he feels for us.
Jesus Christ is my best friend. He’s my favorite. He tells me I’m cool. He said that guy over there is cool too. HE says he LOVES me.
He’s my Shepard, my Master, the Lord of HOsts. In the name of Jesus Christ.
I bear my testimony before you,
amen.