Monday Madness: Luv and the Temple

Valentine’s Day had always been a big occasion in my adult years– flowers, big bears, chocolate strawberries, kisses, sum good luvin and some bad.  This year? This year I am looking forward.

There is no now. Nor is there a ‘shoulda coulda.’ Nor is there a ‘pls pls say yes.’ This year?

This year I project forward. Tonight we had an activity at my church. Vday themed. And we had a mini date event. It was super fun.

I know a lot of people at my church. My congregation is only single adults. 18-30.  That’s it. So I kinda feel like I’ve been around the block and kicking junior/ senior year as I am 28.

Idk. It’s time to be serious about dating.

Tonight after the activity I swung by our temple. Walked the courtyard. Ha! And now I am listening to oldies luv music! “👅 I want… A girl… To call… My own…📣🎤🎼🎶 Oldies. Gotta luv em. Anywayz. I kneeled. I prayed. I cleaned a bit. I wanted Heavenly Father to know I want to be with Him. I grabbed some road salt as a memento.

This year. I plan to get engaged.

Nighty nite.

Squintyclops at Large

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My testimony to you this night: Black Sheep

We all feel like we are on our own sometimes. There are times when we may feel left out from everyone else, like a black sheep. We may feel like we are on our own with our unique ideas, individual thoughts, personal struggles, alone. And we just may be. Alone.

But let me tell you of a concept called the Atonement. It’s a big word. There are a lot of components to this idea, infinite ones at that. One I want to speak of is the idea of gathering. The Atonement unifies us. It draws me closer to you. It draws you closer to your neighbor. The Atonement guides each of us to a finite vision that explores infinite possibilities.

The way it works is very complex, sacredly beyond our mortal minds. This I know, however let’s not get too caught up in the how and focus on the what, what it does for you and me. The Atonement allows each of us to recover from our shortcomings, whether it’s of us or not. It gives us a sense of purpose and a single unifying goal.  This goal inherently invites others to come upon the Atonement, such as that others might not feel that loneliness.

The Atonement is only possible by Jesus Christ, a perfect being by which the law can be brought justice and mercy to all. By Christ’s embracing Atonement we are brought together, saved. By His example we gather the one in one hundred. Every soul is precious, even yours.

Learn of Jesus Christ. Accept His Atonement. Feel His love and mercy for you.

In His name, Amen.

 

This week? mumble mumble mumble

Miley Cyrus “Adore You”

I’ve been put into a rage this afternoon. Losing game after game doesn’t really help. And playing low level players, losing, didn’t help.  I will blame it on my confidence. I was trying out my fightstick for the first time online in years. It was dusty. I think I lost every game today.  I tend to do that a lot- get my butt kicked online after a pretty miserable day which only calls for an even more miserable day.

Today was a little different, I asked my family to leave me alone. I was in my room for not 5 mins and I came out and put on Miley Cyrus’s Adore you on my surround sound system- it’s beautiful. “I adore you.” The lyrics are so beautiful. I’m a lover, a romantic. Somewhere out there I know my lady is waiting to tell me this, someday. Whether be it far into the future i dont know.

I really don’t know why I’ve been miserable. People at work i kno have been noticing. I’m new so they don’t say much. Things just feel off. I don’t feel confident. I feel so confused. Things don’t make sense. A lot of it comes from church. Things don’t add up. Yet whenever I hear someone tell me very spiritual i kno it’s true. Something inside me tells me to hang in there longer. Something tells me not to quit.

Today i really didn’t want to go in to church. But I had a duty to get the programs printed so i went. I also wanted to bug out early, but i had a duty to personally teach someone afterwards. and so that all happened.  It was great that i stayed tho. I was able to hear some very inspiring words. some words i needed to hear. I kno i was suppose to be at church today, i was able to take things i learned in sunday school to the lesson after church. during sacrament, i really wanted to just sit in the foyer, but i fought it and stayed. i heard a very touching musical number by a very tender soul. and I heard wise words from church authority. I kno that the church is true. I kno i am in the right place and am doing the right thing.

general conference is coming up in a month and i want to prepare for it. i want to fast next sunday. i need to get level headed. i want close friends. it’s funny to say, but i really don’t have a ‘go to’ to spill all this to. I can save that thought for another post.

My parents are too for another day.

I just want to feel better. I started playing my love music playlist in which i progressively add to. and miley kicked it off. i am feeling better already.

The Strangest of Issues, How appropriate for the Holiday

Valentine’s Day is coming up. I usually have a lot of fun with this. The normal pattern of behavior follows one of two: to be lone wolf and flirt with any girl or choose one and go all out. Either way I go all out and have tons o fun.  This year… it’s the weekend before and I’ve yet to identify my plan. why is that?

Well there are girls on my mind which makes me shy away from option one. And it’s plural this year, so I shy away from option two. I feel so lame at this exact moment because I struggle. I don’t know what to do.  Such a silly hesitation right?

I am not “going steady” with anyone. I am not dating anyone. Yet, for whatever reason I feel like this choice is a huge commitment. I was told by someone wise to go for ’em all until that commitment is made. And so,… yea. I am a lame lame lame lame lame duck. How fowl!

I hope I’ll find myself a Valentine and I hope that I don’t shoot myself in the foot and burn any bridges. I hope that things will smooth over. Why didn’t I just make a move when I had the chance?

I have lost momentum. I feel. Be strong right? Hmmm.

I’m gonna pray and ponder this topic. I still don’t feel any better.

I Must Refrain from Shrinking

I Must Refrain from Shrinking

I haven’t been strong as of late. I was. I was going strong for a long time, for me at least. I felt happy. I felt bold. I felt as though I had strength. It didn’t last though.

Now I feel weak. I shrink, much in the way described in this talk. What I need to do is to turn away from anger. I need to turn away from the fear.

Why the anger. It might be justified, but why not confidence? Why not a better feeling? I need not encourage this feeling. It’s time to repent these feelings away. Christ knows how I feel.  He understands. I know.

I have to remember to just follow His guidance and just come unto him. I should replace mine anger with love.  I’m gonna brainstorm some exercises and maybe e’en try one out right after this post.

So activities of love, not anger:

Writing to my loved ones

Writing to my future posterity

Writing to my grandparents

Writing to my parents

Writing to my brother who lives afar

Writing to secret sweetmates

Using Valentine’s as an excuse to engage with sweetmates

making a Valentine Day project

planning a valentine day project

wondering about the wife i will have.

counting the many blessings i have

counting the many blessings my mother has given me

counting the many blessings my father has given me

counting the many blessings i give to others

counting the many blessings i am capable of getting

counting the many blessings i have yet to get

counting the many blessings out there

This is good.

Who do I want to Be?

“Superman. Uhm Blue, Brown, Red. Uhm Just graduated College with a scriptwriting degree. Has an active imagination.”

This is my writer description for the blog set 4 years ago in 2010, possibly even earlier. I’ll have to come up with an update to that and so lemme write as I think of one. Right now I am calming down from a stressful week. Hopefully that doesn’t bleed into my final product today.

Who am I?

Who do I want to be?

I want to continue helping others.

I want to be in a position where I can lift others always.

I want to be an example for others such that people will want to listen and will willingly respect me.

I want to be humble that I can learn at all times.

I want to be meek that I can accept help from anyone at anytime.

I want to remain obedient, consistently.

I want to be a strong person.

I want to be a leader.

I want to befriend others out of love.

I want to start sharing my knowledge.

I want to share my love.

I want to share my talents.

I want to share my wealth.

I want to share my possessions.

What else do I want to be? Let’s look professionally.

I want to be involved in optics more so than ever before. I will attend the Vision Expos and learn of the many things there to expand my workplace into better ways of trade. I want to be knowledgeable in this field, especially when it comes to optical and management and growth.  How can I be this person?

When it comes to love, who do I want to be?

I want to be a gentleman.

I want to be someone who listens

I want to be a friend. I want to be close. I want to know what ails and what pains and what’s at pain.

I want to nourish and champion the best in my companion.

I want to be strong. I want to be a man.

I want to remain a great son. I want to be better than who I am already. I want to continue to be perfected. How can I do this?

I’ll have to visit this topic oft. I’ll have to think about this oft. A prayer.

Heavenly Father,
Love me, Love me dearly. Might I love Thee as Thou hast. Might Thy hands reach and touch mine that I might shake and move others with me. Might I learn by Thy Eternal perspective to grow and perfect in myself. Might I be there and be more than just there but be able to keep my baptismal covenants at all times for those around me. Dear Father, might Thee hear my prayer this night, In Thy son’s name, Jesus Christ, Amen

I’ll go ahead and close with my testimony and whip up an update. My testimony is that we were chosen to champion this time. We are to live and be heirs of the Kingdom. Our God in Heaven loves us dearly. He knows us all personally. And this I say in Jesus’ name, amen.