It’s true for a blog I’ve been following and true for me. We ride our pride from HS into college and burnout post graduate.
Where did all of my gusto go? Where did the fighting spirit go?
I love visiting with return missionaries. Especially if we are playing sports. One I play regularly is volleyball. Every RM or even soon to be missionary I’ve met is super competitive. And I luv it.
I miss the days when I was young. The thing is that I never was really competitive in sports. Or in general. I was the guy who never kept score. Well. About the only thing I was competitive at was academics. I am still super proud of my rank and am tempted to boast it here. But that’s not my point. That is the HS pride I was talking about.
HS pride. The feeling that you can take on the world. The feeling of being unstoppable. That you are worth beyond measure.
I argue we are and we are not. How so? In the eyes of the Lord we are of great worth, yet we are no more that the that of the dust.
I wonder if I can have that HS pride in the Lord’s eyes. Maybe I already do. It’s not a competition.
I had to pause. It’s not a competition. We are all on our own missions to return to Heavenly Father. We can help one another. There’s no need to judge or be hostile. With the right time and right place the rightt things can be done.
I used to be so angry for not being someone big. In the world.
My illness has got the best of me. But I fail to recognize the finer things in life. I still crave the life of a successful man. Whatever that is.
This dream no longer gives me hope. I feel incapable. It’s a dream not worth seeking. No more of that huh?
So much more to say! But that’s enough for this thought.
We are worth so much. We have to realize this. Let the lord lift us up! Our pride can only get us so far!!
Squintyclops at Large