My testimony to you this night: Black Sheep

We all feel like we are on our own sometimes. There are times when we may feel left out from everyone else, like a black sheep. We may feel like we are on our own with our unique ideas, individual thoughts, personal struggles, alone. And we just may be. Alone.

But let me tell you of a concept called the Atonement. It’s a big word. There are a lot of components to this idea, infinite ones at that. One I want to speak of is the idea of gathering. The Atonement unifies us. It draws me closer to you. It draws you closer to your neighbor. The Atonement guides each of us to a finite vision that explores infinite possibilities.

The way it works is very complex, sacredly beyond our mortal minds. This I know, however let’s not get too caught up in the how and focus on the what, what it does for you and me. The Atonement allows each of us to recover from our shortcomings, whether it’s of us or not. It gives us a sense of purpose and a single unifying goal.  This goal inherently invites others to come upon the Atonement, such as that others might not feel that loneliness.

The Atonement is only possible by Jesus Christ, a perfect being by which the law can be brought justice and mercy to all. By Christ’s embracing Atonement we are brought together, saved. By His example we gather the one in one hundred. Every soul is precious, even yours.

Learn of Jesus Christ. Accept His Atonement. Feel His love and mercy for you.

In His name, Amen.

 

I Must Refrain from Shrinking

I Must Refrain from Shrinking

I haven’t been strong as of late. I was. I was going strong for a long time, for me at least. I felt happy. I felt bold. I felt as though I had strength. It didn’t last though.

Now I feel weak. I shrink, much in the way described in this talk. What I need to do is to turn away from anger. I need to turn away from the fear.

Why the anger. It might be justified, but why not confidence? Why not a better feeling? I need not encourage this feeling. It’s time to repent these feelings away. Christ knows how I feel.  He understands. I know.

I have to remember to just follow His guidance and just come unto him. I should replace mine anger with love.  I’m gonna brainstorm some exercises and maybe e’en try one out right after this post.

So activities of love, not anger:

Writing to my loved ones

Writing to my future posterity

Writing to my grandparents

Writing to my parents

Writing to my brother who lives afar

Writing to secret sweetmates

Using Valentine’s as an excuse to engage with sweetmates

making a Valentine Day project

planning a valentine day project

wondering about the wife i will have.

counting the many blessings i have

counting the many blessings my mother has given me

counting the many blessings my father has given me

counting the many blessings i give to others

counting the many blessings i am capable of getting

counting the many blessings i have yet to get

counting the many blessings out there

This is good.

My Brain, Anger.

It feels like something presses on my mind. I know what it is. It’s frustration, anger, agony, bitterness. well maybe not agony. but still.

I don’t want to share too much here, and I don’t get too angry too oft. It’s like a once in a year thing. This is probably this first time it’s been so prolonged and so consistent. So confused am I!!!

I wish someone could be there for me. Well i’m sorry, there are tons of people who are there for me. Lemme clarify. I need someone who can read me, who is willing to pry. Who wants to hear my woes and look past their own that I might relieve mine own. I mean really. People are quick to talk about themselves.

In any case I get to meet with church leadership tonite. I am looking for some advisement here. Usually they don’t tell you anything you don’t already know, but they help you understand these ‘anything’s and these anythings soak deep into you. I’m looking for one of those moments.

I know what’s bugging me now. It’s been a week. I honestly am unfamiliar with this type of rage of an attitude. I even asked my sister, ‘what do you do when you are angry, you are angry all the time.’ She says, “I yell and scream and let everyone know.” i tell her i am just the opposite.

I hate being angry. I am starting to hate other things too, like people. This trend it getting no where. How am I to turn this around?

I need a friend.

Who do I want to Be?

“Superman. Uhm Blue, Brown, Red. Uhm Just graduated College with a scriptwriting degree. Has an active imagination.”

This is my writer description for the blog set 4 years ago in 2010, possibly even earlier. I’ll have to come up with an update to that and so lemme write as I think of one. Right now I am calming down from a stressful week. Hopefully that doesn’t bleed into my final product today.

Who am I?

Who do I want to be?

I want to continue helping others.

I want to be in a position where I can lift others always.

I want to be an example for others such that people will want to listen and will willingly respect me.

I want to be humble that I can learn at all times.

I want to be meek that I can accept help from anyone at anytime.

I want to remain obedient, consistently.

I want to be a strong person.

I want to be a leader.

I want to befriend others out of love.

I want to start sharing my knowledge.

I want to share my love.

I want to share my talents.

I want to share my wealth.

I want to share my possessions.

What else do I want to be? Let’s look professionally.

I want to be involved in optics more so than ever before. I will attend the Vision Expos and learn of the many things there to expand my workplace into better ways of trade. I want to be knowledgeable in this field, especially when it comes to optical and management and growth.  How can I be this person?

When it comes to love, who do I want to be?

I want to be a gentleman.

I want to be someone who listens

I want to be a friend. I want to be close. I want to know what ails and what pains and what’s at pain.

I want to nourish and champion the best in my companion.

I want to be strong. I want to be a man.

I want to remain a great son. I want to be better than who I am already. I want to continue to be perfected. How can I do this?

I’ll have to visit this topic oft. I’ll have to think about this oft. A prayer.

Heavenly Father,
Love me, Love me dearly. Might I love Thee as Thou hast. Might Thy hands reach and touch mine that I might shake and move others with me. Might I learn by Thy Eternal perspective to grow and perfect in myself. Might I be there and be more than just there but be able to keep my baptismal covenants at all times for those around me. Dear Father, might Thee hear my prayer this night, In Thy son’s name, Jesus Christ, Amen

I’ll go ahead and close with my testimony and whip up an update. My testimony is that we were chosen to champion this time. We are to live and be heirs of the Kingdom. Our God in Heaven loves us dearly. He knows us all personally. And this I say in Jesus’ name, amen.