Monday Madness: My Talents

Tonight my church hosted a talent show. I just read some of my favorite, authored poetry. I was wanting to do some take kwon do breaks, but that didn’t happen… Due to some recent knee sprains.

I got to thinking. There are many talents. Art, music, comedy. I appreciated them all. It’s good to be unique, and the differences make each that much better.

Awesome.  But which talents do I want to work on? I always wanted to be an artist. Comic book for sure.

I should just start with a novel. Those are said to be an easier form of literary creation I’ve heard, yet I know I can’t write one. At least not yet.

I have many projects. Failed ones. Never to sprout. I think I need to focus on my muse and write when the feelings there. And entertain it. Welcome it when it’s not there by writing exercises.

O! How I long to be a literary sensation.

Squintyclops at Large

Monday Madness: Things are looking up

It’s like half past midnight and I am here to tell u I actually just woke up, from a nap not long ago.

My mind racks with suppressed memories of the past and recent conversations with the family.

My sister is so stressed with her wedding. I want to help at any capacity I can, but its so hard talking to her.

My older brother he wants me to do well, yet I find him to be all business as he does this, sending me articles like homework.

I found something that’s been helping me, that’s to focus on who I want to be rather than who I was or who I am. Its a slight mindset shift that pays good dividends. I don’t beat melt up as much and am overall more satisfied in myself.

Thanks for for your subscriptions. I can only hope my words help and give you at any capacity.

Thanks, and goodnight.

Squintyclops at Large

Monday Madness: A Day with Pops

Were all my Mondays as tiring as this?

I am so tired, having run around all day with dad. Our main objective was to finish wedding invites. Which didn’t happen. But we ran into family and an old friend on the way.

In the end… I really want to see my family on the other side.

Wow. Totally different topic. Idk. Lemme tell u. My dad and his generation are at retirement age. They’ve seen so much. They’ve done so much.

I’ve seen various acts they’ve done for one another and for me. It’s a beautiful thing!

I just know we’ll be all together after all of this. Like neighbors. Bickering as always!

That’s what I believe. God will put us all where we can be together in the end, no matter who you are or what you’ve done. That’s my testimony to you.

Nite folks!

Squintyclops at Large

Monday Madness: Living the Gospel

This past week has been great. A few stories to share and a bit about structure

Story 1
My first story goes along the lines of compassion. I was at a busy retail area for my city. A place where tourists may come oft. My actions that night were limited to fallen plans and a wish to go home. On the way i ran into a woman who was clearly in distress.

She didn’t need help really. She just needed to be calmed down. I learned so much about her. About her kids and things of herself. She just got a job and moved in to town just 9 days in. She moved into a good part of town. It’s an exciting time in her life. Her car broke down and she had to turn to the local police to help her.

Anyway the visit was well we exchanged contact info and she made me promise not to leave her, to keep contact with her.

Huh.

Story 2
The next story occurs a weekend before. A depressing weekend at Walmart. For me and the general population. It was busy and the cashier lines were long. I had to sit on a bench to wait for my family to check out. There I sat next to a girl, probably a local college student who just looked so so depressed.

I wanted to help her but couldn’t overcome my small fears and walls. I had plenty opportunity too. But in the end I was more focused on her and my depressive funk was lifted.

Cool.

Story 3
My last story has to do with me and me only. It happened today. I went to do some home teaching for my church. Home teaching is a network that my church practices where every family is assigned two priesthood individuals who come visit to keep a close eye of love for the families.

And so I went a little on the outskirts of town. I don’t carry a phone and I didn’t know the area. I got lost. A small one lane gravel road. Poorly shoveled.

I got stuck. And I tried to back out. I ended up in the grass.  I was way stuck. No people for half a mile or so. No money. No phone. I was running late for my teaching.

Yet I was not afraid , I was determined I could get out alone, that everything would work out.

The common trick for my problem was to use rocks to get traction under my wheels. I thought maybe if I pushed my car from its spot it might be enough to drive again.

That proved to not work.

I thought and I thought.

There was plenty of tall dried dead grass around me. I started picking them and thought maybe I could get the traction I needed. And so I gathered some long grass, stuffed it under the wheel, and nudged the car a little, to get it into position.

And i t worked. I got back onto the gravel and safely got to my destination with help of some locals.

Structure
I have found that I am the kind of guy who reads ten books at once. I just can’t stay and finish any book.

My problem I identified is that I don’t read my scriptures as often as encouraged and I have zero structure  in my life right now.

So in the past I read, well tried to read, a chapter from the scriptures a night.

Never worked.

Well I noticed that the scriptures are actually a ton of books!!! Haha! And so I started to read it consistently, although not the same book everyday.

It’s working. And per my entry the blessings can be seen.

I’m out!

Squintyclops at Large

Monday Madness: Breaking Outside of my Social Bubble

So after much self reflection I feel it that I have no friends outside church… I do have one. A good one at that. But none other. And so last week I embarked to work on that.

I’ve been making strides at this. It’s just been a week and I’ve made a few friends whom I see a future in and a new side of my personality that is worth recognizing.

As a LDS member I am super sober, no drinking or anything. Yet as I go out into the world I am finding myself to be the ‘coolest sober’ people have seen.

As I look back I’ve noticed that I make a very good impression on others. Enough to have others go out of their way to hear my story and share theirs, or pour out their souls to me.

I wanna close early for it’s late. But it’s nice to know that I can be a big deal…. Or something.

Squintyclops at Large

Who do I want to Be?

“Superman. Uhm Blue, Brown, Red. Uhm Just graduated College with a scriptwriting degree. Has an active imagination.”

This is my writer description for the blog set 4 years ago in 2010, possibly even earlier. I’ll have to come up with an update to that and so lemme write as I think of one. Right now I am calming down from a stressful week. Hopefully that doesn’t bleed into my final product today.

Who am I?

Who do I want to be?

I want to continue helping others.

I want to be in a position where I can lift others always.

I want to be an example for others such that people will want to listen and will willingly respect me.

I want to be humble that I can learn at all times.

I want to be meek that I can accept help from anyone at anytime.

I want to remain obedient, consistently.

I want to be a strong person.

I want to be a leader.

I want to befriend others out of love.

I want to start sharing my knowledge.

I want to share my love.

I want to share my talents.

I want to share my wealth.

I want to share my possessions.

What else do I want to be? Let’s look professionally.

I want to be involved in optics more so than ever before. I will attend the Vision Expos and learn of the many things there to expand my workplace into better ways of trade. I want to be knowledgeable in this field, especially when it comes to optical and management and growth.  How can I be this person?

When it comes to love, who do I want to be?

I want to be a gentleman.

I want to be someone who listens

I want to be a friend. I want to be close. I want to know what ails and what pains and what’s at pain.

I want to nourish and champion the best in my companion.

I want to be strong. I want to be a man.

I want to remain a great son. I want to be better than who I am already. I want to continue to be perfected. How can I do this?

I’ll have to visit this topic oft. I’ll have to think about this oft. A prayer.

Heavenly Father,
Love me, Love me dearly. Might I love Thee as Thou hast. Might Thy hands reach and touch mine that I might shake and move others with me. Might I learn by Thy Eternal perspective to grow and perfect in myself. Might I be there and be more than just there but be able to keep my baptismal covenants at all times for those around me. Dear Father, might Thee hear my prayer this night, In Thy son’s name, Jesus Christ, Amen

I’ll go ahead and close with my testimony and whip up an update. My testimony is that we were chosen to champion this time. We are to live and be heirs of the Kingdom. Our God in Heaven loves us dearly. He knows us all personally. And this I say in Jesus’ name, amen.

Something Merry and Something not so Merry Spoil Alert for those who read wolverine weapon x

Something not merry- I found out my comic book guy died. He was car ganked and shot.  I attended his funeral.

Something Merry- Wolverine submits to Nightcrawler’s missionary efforts in Wolverine Weapon X #16. Turns out the guy does believe in a hell and a heaven.  Good ‘ol elf.

I really liked that issue really wants me to become a better member missionary.  Wolverine would walk out on poor Nightcrawler so many times.  Wolverine only ever takes pride in killing and even though Wolverine finds his habit good for the souls he sends to God, Nightcrawler worries about Wolverine’s too.

This book takes after the recent death of Nightcrawler.  It looks back on the incredible friendship between the 2 X-men. The book recalls a moment between the two.  They are in the danger room training and Nightcrawler could have done a better job looking out for Wolverine.  They get on the subject of death.   Wolverine insists that when you die you die.  Nightcrawler says that faith in his claws is useless when talking about the eternal life.  This book made me think a bit about how I can improve on my missionary skills. Good ol Nightcrawler.

Speaking about death. My comic book guy was awesome.  He treated me well for over seven years.  Watched out for my interests, gave me good deals, and we were just friends.  It was utter shock to hear of the news.  I just miss the guy.  Today I went for some books. I was prepared to say hi to the guy. But no…..  Too sad. But I know he lives. Thank you Lord.