It feels like something presses on my mind. I know what it is. It’s frustration, anger, agony, bitterness. well maybe not agony. but still.
I don’t want to share too much here, and I don’t get too angry too oft. It’s like a once in a year thing. This is probably this first time it’s been so prolonged and so consistent. So confused am I!!!
I wish someone could be there for me. Well i’m sorry, there are tons of people who are there for me. Lemme clarify. I need someone who can read me, who is willing to pry. Who wants to hear my woes and look past their own that I might relieve mine own. I mean really. People are quick to talk about themselves.
In any case I get to meet with church leadership tonite. I am looking for some advisement here. Usually they don’t tell you anything you don’t already know, but they help you understand these ‘anything’s and these anythings soak deep into you. I’m looking for one of those moments.
I know what’s bugging me now. It’s been a week. I honestly am unfamiliar with this type of rage of an attitude. I even asked my sister, ‘what do you do when you are angry, you are angry all the time.’ She says, “I yell and scream and let everyone know.” i tell her i am just the opposite.
I hate being angry. I am starting to hate other things too, like people. This trend it getting no where. How am I to turn this around?
I need a friend.