Today I wasn’t going to go to church. It took me forever to get out of bed. I didn’t want to wake up. It’s cold-ish. It’s sunday.
People depend on me for the program though. Which got out of bed. I made the program. Emailed it to those who really count on it. And then I through some sunday cloths on. I had a plan.
I was to go to church two hours early. Print off the programs. Set them on the front table and go home. I wasn’t going to be that cheerful greeter today. I need a break today. I wanna call in sick. but lo it is church.
Things were going well. Got the programs printed. Plan is going well. I walk to the front table. I find myself peeking around doors hoping I would see someone I know. So far only one man, i met months ago. i remember his name tho. Moses. He visited our branch once. I wondered where he went. It appears he’s been going to the family wards the whole time. That’s good. But yea, no one i knew. Good. right.
So i make my way to the car. And proceeded to go home. I go and i go. hmm. it’s way early. I don’t want to be home so early. And i don’t want to break the Sabbath. So I got brainstorming- something I am very good at. “You need to make Sacrament.” And so I thought I don’t want to go back. And I’m not going to the other YSA. I’ll just go to the home ward. Just as I thought that I missed my exit to go home. So instead of following the plan to go home, i went to the home ward.
And so i go. This will work. I will get sacrament as always, and i won’t have to face all the pity from friends. But! i forgot. One of my best friends usually goes to her home ward before ours. Will i miss her. idk.
I make it to the home ward. I see a friend’s grandma. she invites me over for lunch. that’s nice. I enter the building. I could have gone straight into the chapel but i find my self exploring the building. Why am i increasing my chances to see her? I see her brother. It gets crowded. Families are getting out of church. I continue around the building. There she is. I hope she doesn’t see me. I bolt to the chapel. She catches me. I share my plan. Kinda stubborn she is. But so am i.
I enter the chapel. Shook her off. I get comfortable. I wait for those i know will come to this sacrament meeting. I wait. I wait. “Wait, did she really just go? Hey! stick to the plan.” I wait.
She’s back. We talk. I am so stubborn. I can tell she’s getting the hint. I felt it. A prompting. “Lets go!” i said surprisingly boldly. The spirit IS with me. She makes sure i am doing what i want. We go. It’s not what i want. it’s about what He wants. We go.
I make it to church and immediately there are those who were already wondering where i was. Hmm was I missed 20 mins before church? Idk. They want me to pass out their fliers. I decline. I go into the chapel. Found a cozy spot. Spotted a good friend. That was nice.
We shared experiences. She cared. She pried. That’s nice.
Took the sacrament. Listened to the amazing talks. Felt like they were speaking directly to me. But I waited. I waited for someone to ask “Why aren’t you passing the programs? Where’s my program? You are slacking. yada yada yada.” It’s visiting time. I wait.
The Counselor recognized I was down. We sit aside and talked it out, and this one he’s actually not much of a talker. To see him talk to me, to get the courage to address my feelings. I am to receive a blessing after church. That really means a lot. I enjoyed that. Good to know someone’s got my back.
Church continued on. I receive my blessing. We talked. Both Counselors and I. It was great. They gave me perspective. They gave me something to look forward to. They gave me love.
I go home. With a best friend. No one asked about my nonexistent greeting today. Many many asked how I was feeling.
I owe it to all. Everyone in my life. but i want to highlight the prompting. That was the turning point. Sure a best friend was there. Sure counselors talked to me. Sure many asked how i felt. But I am sure the Spirit aided many of them. The Spirit I am sure made this happen. I pray.- oh yes I pray.