I’ve learned some good things. Happiness begets happiness and depression begets depression. It’s time I apply this to my life.
It was just last night that I realized that I am passionately negative. It’s all I think about. That’s awful. What I need to be doing is being hopeful, optimistic and the like.
I have been having really selfish thoughts:
i feel like i am suppose to be selfish. to come to church for me, not others
i feel like i am suppose to put myself before others
i feel like i deserve more than i am
Where do these thoughts come from? How do i rid of them They don’t make me feel happy.
“sing, read scriptures, pray” says a friend of mine. Good suggestions. I haven’t been praying much lately.
The pray count has been dwindling. My relationship with Him isn’t as strong.
But it’s time to change.
Here’s what I sent to my professor about the absence of progress in school.
Squintyclops February 17 at 10:45am
“Honestly, I have nothing to show for this last month. I have been dealing with life, not that my life is bad right now. It’s just that I am not dealing with my life or my problems. I didn’t really understand the situation I was in until just this week.
Part of it is that I don’t have any concrete life goals for the near future. I don’t have plans. I am not working towards anything. Part of it is that I don’t see the value of a diploma. But I know getting one is good. And you can probably figure out what I haven’t been doing based on these thoughts.
It’s good to see and realize that I have a problem. My actions aren’t leading anywhere.
It’s time to own this. I haven’t been doing homework and that will lead to no diploma. I will say that I will put great effort in getting back on track. This is where I am and where I need to be is turning pages in each week and have at least a book’s worth complete. Yet I do not.
It’s time to solve this problem and I humbly say that I need your help. I am not an independent worker. I need someone breathing down my back at all times. I need a sense of urgency. I propose we see each other twice a week, and have emails in between. Also I need to adjust my schedule so that I can catch up at a reasonable pace.
And so I am making the first steps in solving this problem by contacting you.
I am in this.”
So that should help. As for spirituality. I don’t know how I can be much better. I’ve been better than I have been for sure. Less the praying part. Yet I feel down.- Forget that!
So the problem is I am spiritually down. I don’t pray and I don’t read scriptures. Therefore I lose perspective in life. Hence I need to pray and read scriptures.
I will pray in the morning, and before bed. I will change my phone background to ‘Pray’ and every time I see it I will find time to pray. As for scriptures.- oh that’s a beast! any suggestions?
This will be my first steps to changing for the better. And I will be humble. Can you help?